


what's your favorite color, punk?

by QuirkyNeon (iforgetlikeanelephant)



Series: Wade's Bad at Feelings [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, The rating is for language, even tho it's really her doing the baby sitting, he's also pretty good at babysitting negasonic, wade also knows his emo culture, wade is bad at feelings but good at singing mcr songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 01:49:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12520236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iforgetlikeanelephant/pseuds/QuirkyNeon
Summary: “What?” Wade says to one lady, “Never seen a coupla My Chemical Romance fans out in public before? Emo isn’t a choice, lady, it’s alifestyle!”“I’m notemo,” Negasonic complains as Wade starts humming Welcome to the Black Parade.“Course, not, ‘sonic,” Wade agrees, “Punk, goth, whatever you are youdefinitelylive on vampire freaks dot com.” He shoves another spoonful of mint chip in his mouth as he watches Negasonic open and close her mouth, apparently unable to think of a come back for that one. “Ah HA! If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’ kid, and you know that’s not happening!” He says as he bites down on a chocolate chip.





	what's your favorite color, punk?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel in the loosest sense of the word to my Wade hiding from Spider-Man in a dumpster with his banana shame hat fic. You don't have to have read that one to read this one, but at this point why the fuck wouldn't ya

The worst moment of Wade Wilson’s life was the day he let Vanessa walk away. Didn’t fight her, let her take her hot ass and just fuckin’ walk away from him and his ugly mug (see also: probably the best day of Vanessa’s life).

 

Dramatic, right? Full of proper angst and lost love and all that bullshit well, that’s good, because the _second_ worst moment in Wade’s life? 

 

Right now, staring at the gelato that he just fucking _dropped on the goddamn ground._

 

“This is the worst moment of my entire life,” he says to no one, mourning the loss of the mint chip gelato like it gave him his first born child. 

 

“It’s not that serious,” Negasonic says as Wade looks over at her, gesturing to the ground and his lost love, his mint chip. 

 

“Yeah, and you can say that because you didn’t _drop your gelato_ ,” Wade argues, watching as she takes a mocking lick of her cone. “You’re a shameless _bitch_ and you need to take that gelato outta my fuckin’ _face_ before I shoot it,” he continues as he throws his empty cone to the ground, stomping on it with his boot. 

 

Negasonic rolls her eyes at him, “I’m not a shameless bitch just because I’m not stupid enough to lick my gelato out of the cone.” She’s side-eyeing the _fuck_ out of Wade and he grimaces, flipping her off as he gets back in line for another scoop of gelato. 

 

He gets it in a cup this time because he likes to think he learns from his mistakes. 

 

{ _Sure you do buddy, that’s why you’re so good at mooning over the uncatchable and chasing after tail that’s definitely going to leave you like an expired carton of milk once they see your face, huh? Not to mention, you fucked and ran pretty much._ }

 

“Shut the fuck up, _I’m_ not the one that ran,” Wade mumbles around his spoon as he and Negasonic walk around the park, earning looks. “ _What_?” Wade says to one lady, “Never seen a coupla My Chemical Romance fans out in public before? Emo isn’t a choice, lady, it’s a _lifestyle!”_

 

“I’m not _emo_ ,” Negasonic complains as Wade starts humming Welcome to the Black Parade. 

 

“Course, not, ‘sonic,” Wade agrees, “Punk, goth, whatever you are you _definitely_ live on vampire freaks dot com.” He shoves another spoonful of mint chip in his mouth as he watches Negasonic open and close her mouth, apparently unable to think of a come back for that one. “Ah HA! If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’ kid, and you know that’s not happening!” He says as he bites down on a chocolate chip. 

 

“How do you even _know_ about that site, huh, Wade? Takes one to know one,” Negasonic says eventually as she crunches on her cone.

 

“You kids these days, thinking you all make up these fucking _things._ I was pansexual before being anything other than being straight was _cool_ , kid,” Wade says, laughing as they sidestep a cute nerdy kid reading a book on a bench and isn’t _that_ adorable.

 

Negasonic side-eyes him again as she says, smirking, “Killing before killing was cool?” 

 

“You’re so cool, you’re so cool!” Wade warbles back, waving his cup of gelato in the air as he conducts an invisible band with his spoon. Negasonic grabs his elbow and barely stops him from braining a tall motherfucker that looks like he’d use Wade to floss his _teeth_. “Just tell me,” Wade starts seriously, “Tell me that your username has a coupla Xs on either end and maybe vampire spelled with a Y.” 

 

Negasonic’s cheeks flush and Wade cackles, slapping his thigh as she says, “I hate you Wade Wilson, you’re an _asshole_.”

 

“Love you too, sweet cheeks,” Wade says as he drapes his arm over her shoulder, pulling her in for a hard hug.

 

She pays him back by breaking a few of his ribs with her weird explosion powers and he only screams a little as he pulls his arm back so he considers it a win. 

 

——————

 

“Bad news from the zones, tumbleweeds,” Wade says as he corners two guys he saw harassing a woman earlier in the evening, his katanas glinting in the moonlight. He has both of them standing at the end of his blades, the tips pressed hard against their throats as he continues, “Jet-Star and the Kobra Kid had a _clap_ with an exterminator that went _all_ Costa Rica.”

 

The blond guy, wearing a letterman jacket and looking like everything Wade hates in this godforsaken life, looks at him like he’s _crazy_. He _is_ , but it’s still _rude_ , so he digs the blade in just a bit deeper on his throat, watching a bit of blood bead up against the silver of his blade. “What the _fuck,_ man? We didn’t do _nothin’,_ ” he sounds a bit like he’s going to cry and _good_ , this asshole deserves a few tears. 

 

“Got themselves _ghosted—”_

 

“Deadpool, let them go,” Wade looks over his shoulder at the voice and sees Spider-Man chilling on the wall and isn’t _he_ a sight for sore eyes!

 

“Spidey! Baby, how ya doin’? Daddy’s just got to take the trash out real quick, I promise it won’t take too long,” he turns back to two college douchbags in front of him and because he’s so focused on them he misses Spidey shifting behind him until it’s too late. His katanas are webbed and pulled away from him as he lets out a loud, “HEY!” 

 

“You two, leave, go home and try not to get too handsy with another woman or next time I _won’t_ stop Deadpool,” Spider-Man says to the two men and they must recognize this for what it is because they’re out of there quick, skating around Wade as he spins to look at Spider-Man. 

 

Wade crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head as he watches Spider-Man drop to the ground, Wade’s katanas in his hands. “Careful with Bea and Arthur there, baby boy, they don’t take too kindly to rough handling,” he says as Spider-Man steps up to him, shoving the katanas into his hands. 

 

“You have your head out of your ass yet?” Spider-Man asks as he stares Wade down and Wade, finally, feels his stomach drop as he realizes that yeah, no, he’d still got his head so far up his own ass that he can taste his Adam’s Apple. 

 

“I’m not the one that ran, baby boy,” Wade says easily as he re-sheathes his katanas, “That was all you.”

 

“I _ran_ ,” Spider-Man pauses and Wade can feel the disgust dripping from the words, “Because you’re too goddamn obtuse to realize when someone wants to get to _know_ _you_!” 

 

“You don’t want to know me, you want to know the guy you _think_ I am,” Wade says as he shakes his head, gesturing toward Spider-Man’s… _everything_. “You’re way too good for the real me, so you’ve built up this dream Deadpool in your head and there’s no way I can live up to that, babe,” he says as he leans against the alley wall, crossing his legs at the ankle as he watches Spider-Man begin to pace. 

 

Spider-Man stops his pacing and stands nearly nose to nose with Wade. “I saw you, with that teenager, walking around and eating _gelato_! _That’s_ the guy I want to get to know! I want to know the guy that walks around talking about emo things with a teenager that looks like she _trusts_ you,” Spider-Man is sounding emotional again and Wade’s never done well with tears.

 

He’s also never done well with being _stalked_. “Are you stalking me? Because Spidey, let me tell you, I don’t care how sweet you sounded on my cock, if you touch one single _hair_ on Nagasonic’s head I will _end_ you,” Wade pitches his voice low, narrowing his eyes as Spider-Man jerks back from him slightly. 

 

“ _No_ ,” Spider-Man says, shaking his head, “I wasn’t _stalking_ _you_ , I was sitting in the park and you two walked by. Anyway, _that’s_ the guy I want to get to know! I want to know the guy that fucked me so good my scalp tingled, asshole, but _you won’t let me!_ ”

 

Wade is pretty sure that he would remember seeing _Spider-Man_ during his goddamn walk through the park with Negasonic. He’s looking at Spider-man _hard_ , and the man hasn’t lied to him before so he can’t imagine that he’d lie to him _now_ but that’s not set in stone. Spider-Man _could_ be lying to him right now. “I’m pretty sure I would remember seeing _you_ in the park,” Wade points out.

 

Spider-Man laughs, _actually laughs_ , and says, “I wasn’t in _costume_ , asshole, I was studying for a bio chem test in the park because it was a _nice day_. And do you really think I would hurt a teenager just because you broke my heart? _Do you_?” 

 

Wade snorts out a laugh, “I didn’t break your heart, baby boy, you did that to yourself.”

 

“My name is _Peter_ ,” Spider-Man spits it out like it hurts and before Wade can say anything more he’s crawling up the wall and swinging away. 

 

“Well _shit_ ,” Wade says, rubbing at his mask as he thinks that maybe, _just maybe_ , he _is_ the one that fucked up this time. 

 

{ _Good job asshole, you probably made him cry and he told you his fucking_ ** _name_** _, because even though you made him cry he_ ** _still_** _wants to know you, what the_ ** _hell!_** }

 

——————

 

“I’m just saying,” Wade starts as he watches Negasonic do her fucking math homework in the park. They’re sitting under one of his favorite trees and he’s laying on the grass, his legs tossed up against the trunk of the tree, “If you think about it, Ghost of You is like, Captain America and his brainwashed long lost boyfriend’s _theme song_.”

 

“And you said _I_ was emo,” Negasonic snorts out as she scratches away at her paper, “At least I don’t write Captain America song fics in my head.”

 

“Song fics are a lost art that you kids nowadays don’t even _get_ ,” Wade complains, kicking his heel against the tree trunk and making a face when a bit of bark falls into his mouth. 

 

“Song fics are _trash_ , and so are you, Wade,” Negasonic says as she crumples up a piece of paper, tossing it at his face and snorting out a laugh when Wade flails unnecessarily. 

 

“Song fics are _beautiful_ and…well I was gonna say _so are you_ but that might be a stretch,” Wade says as Negasonic reaches over and stabs him in the side with her pencil, the led cracking against his kevlar and making her sigh. 

 

Negasonic is sharpening her pencil with a pen knife as she says, “Go get me a fucking pretzel, asshole, extra cheese.”

 

“Aye, captain,” Wade says, rolling onto his side and pushing himself up to his feet, stretching with his arms over his head as he kicks out, getting a boot print smack in the middle of Negasonic’s text book. He laughs as she grabs his ankle, using her powers just enough to rattle the bones in his ankle before she lets go, pushing him away hard enough that he hops on one foot half way down the hill they’re sitting on. “Extra cheese,” he mumbles as he heads toward the pretzel cart, “Like she even needed to _tell me_ extra cheese.”

 

He gets four pretzels and eight things of cheese, holding up the line as he shoves the cheese cups into the back pouches on his belt. Wade’s definitely not paying attention to where he’s walking and that’s on him, especially as he ends up sprawled face down on the grass, pretzels held above the ground by _inches_ after he trips over someone’s feet. “Oh _God_ ,” a voice says, and it’s a cute voice, Wade hopes it’s the voice of an angel come to collect him for death, “I’m so sorry!” 

 

“It’s on me, I wasn’t looking where I was walking,” Wade says as he pushes himself onto his knees, glancing over his shoulder at _oh_ , cute dude in glasses. _Yummy_. “I’d rather have _you_ on me though,” he says as he pushes to his feet, watching a cute flush cover the man’s face. 

 

The guy makes a face and repeats, “Sorry.” It’s all good, Wade’s been turned down by many a good looking guy, this one isn’t any different. 

 

He curtsies at the cute guy and says, “Well, if you change your mind I’ll be under the best tree with an angsty teenager that I’m babysitting. Who I now have to fill with pretzels and extra cheese.” He’s backing away as he talks and he nearly trips over a dog before he turns back around, stomping up the hill and glancing over his shoulder every few feet, watching the cute guy _watch him_ and that’s…not normally how someone acts when they’ve just turned you down. 

 

Wade has barely gotten within eyesight of the tree when he hears Negasonic say, “Cheese me!”

 

“I’m coming, my child!” Wade yells back, jogging to break the distance faster and nearly throwing her pretzels at her.

 

“Oh, nice, two,” Negasonic says as she looks up from her work, pencil eraser pressed against her chin, “Cheese?”

 

“Do you even _need_ to ask?” Wade asks as he starts taking the cheeses out of his pouches before he sits down, dropping his onto the grass and holding Negasonic’s out to her. He grins as she lets out a happy sound and sets them down on the grass around her, making a half circle of cheese cups. 

 

“All hail cheese queen,” Negasonic says in a dull tone, waving one of her pretzels in the air as she sets the other on her notebook, covering what looks to Wade like the fucking nuclear codes to the _football_. He shakes his head and lifts the bottom of his mask, folding it up to right above his nose.

 

Wade cracks open one of his cheese cups and uses the bend of his pretzel like a spoon, getting cheese sauce on his chin and the fold of his mask. “All hail,” Wade says around a mouthful of cheese and pretzel, earning a look of disgust from Negasonic as she starts in on her own pretzels. 

 

It’s one of his better days, he thinks as he watches Negasonic eat her pretzels as she works on her homework, even if he _can_ still hear the echo of Spider-Man yelling his name at him. 

 

———————

 

“ _We kill the girls to get paid, and put the whole damn room on the edge of the blade_ ,” Wade’s singing as he sits on the edge of the roof of some building that he busted a drug ring in a few weeks before. He hums the next few lines under his breath as he continues shining one of his katanas, the other already shiny and tucked back into the sheath. 

 

“Deadpool,” the voice is low, but Wade doesn’t have to look over his shoulder to know who it is. 

 

“ _Come hard, stay clean, singing songs for the damned now_ ,” he finishes the verse in response, scrubbing his edge of his nail over a particularly stubborn smear of blood. “What can I do for the friendly neighborhood arachnid tonight? Come to gift me with your first born in an attempt to get me to stop being an asshole?” He’s definitely being as asshole again, so the feel of Spider- _Peter’s_ gaze burning against his shoulders isn’t surprising in the least. 

 

“ _Christ_ ,” Peter says and Wade should have seen it coming, really, considering the last time he had his katanas out around him. It’s still a surprise when his katana gets webbed out of his hand, sideways, and he ends up with a pretty decent cut against the palm of his hand, his gloves being tucked into his belt so that he could _feel_ what he was cleaning. 

 

“Yowza,” Wade says, shaking his hand slightly as he finally turns around, letting his gaze drag from Peter’s feet up, taking his time with it, “Spidey’s got _bite_.”

 

“You act like a _child_ , Wade Wilson,” is his response and oh, Spidey played private eye since they last spoke. 

 

Wade can’t contain his snort of laughter. “Thought you said you _weren’t_ stalking me, Peter,” he says it easily, but there’s a thin vein of _danger_ under his words. 

 

“You think The Avengers don’t have a file twelve miles deep for you? I know how to _snoop_ ,” Peter says, the lenses on his mask narrowing as Wade stands up, stretching his arms over his head and popping his back. He holds Wade’s katana out and he takes it as it is, a gesture of peace, and he’s happy enough to get his hand back on Bea, wiping the thin line of blood off of the blade and onto his pants before he slides it back into his sheathe. 

 

“What _else_ was in that file there, baby boy?” He’s genuinely curious, wonders just how much research The Avengers have done on him. 

 

“You’re Canadian,” Peter says, and he sounds amused, “And also, were a shitty soldier apparently.”

 

Wade lets out a real laugh at that, “I was a _very_ shitty soldier, that’s generally what a dishonorable discharge means. However, that’s not _why_ I was discharged, the military didn’t look too kindly on dick sucking back in the day.”

 

“How old _are_ you?” Peter asks, sounding curious.

 

“What?” Wade asks, tilting his head slightly, “Didn’t find that in your file snooping?”

 

“No,” Peter says, sounding put out, “But I’d like to know just how old this tree I’m barking up is.”

 

Wade laughs, rubbing at his chin, “I’m thirty-five, please tell me you’re not illegal.”

 

“I’m twenty-two,” Peter answers and that doesn’t really help Wade feel less skeezy, because he’s suddenly realizing that this masked vigilante thing doesn’t make for good age-ranging of potential suitors. 

 

“So, old enough to know better, at least,” Wade says, looking at his hand and seeing that his skin has already stitched itself together, “Old enough to know that I’m bad news, kid.”

 

He’s not expecting Peter to close the distance between them and he’s really not expecting the hand that curls around the back of his neck. “I’m not a kid, and I’m _well_ _aware_ that you’re bad news, I’ve _always_ been aware of that. It doesn’t change the fact that I think, deep down, you’re not a bad guy,” Peter’s speaking quickly and Wade wonders if he needs to shake himself away from Peter.

 

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” Wade says quietly, “You think that I’m not a bad guy, you think that you want a relationship, or _whatever_ it is you’re scrambling for here, with me and you think a lot of things. Here’s what I _know,_ I know that I’m an asshole, I know that I will never be what you really want, and I know that I wouldn’t know what to do in a relationship even if I gave in and did what you want.”

 

Peter huffs out a sound and drops his hand from Wade’s neck, staying close. “Wade,” he sounds like he’s being particularly careful as he continues, “Do you like me?”

 

“Sure, Spidey, you’re _great_ ,” Wade isn’t sure why he’s asking him this, it’s not a _secret_ that Wade thinks the sun shines out of Spider-Man’s ass. Jesus, even _Thor_ picked up on it the last time there was an Earth Ending Incident, and it takes _a_ _lot_ for the God to figure out mortal feelings. 

 

“Then what the _fuck_ is wrong with you? You’re unwilling to think, even for a moment, that I might like you back?” Peter’s tone is like steel, and Wade realizes in that moment that he’s not only fucking _himself_ over by ignoring this _thing_ between the two of them. 

 

Wade hesitates for a moment and says, “ _Oh_.”

 

“Yeah, _oh_ ,” Peter says and Wade reaches out first this time, folding Peter’s mask up just over his nose and watching as the younger man licks his lips.

 

“I should just do what I usually do and _not think_ ,” Wade says as he folds up his own mask before he leans down and kisses him. 

 

——————

 

 

“ _These are the eyes and the lies of the taken, these are their hearts but their hearts don’t beat like ours. They burn ‘cause they are all afraid_ —” Wade’s cut off by Negasonic’s hand slapping over his mouth. He crosses his eyes under his mask and then licks at her palm, earning himself a gag as she pulls her hand back. 

 

“You’re singing your angsty romance song _again_ ,” she says as she goes back to her writing. They’re in a library this time, because Negasonic needed to pull some books for the paper she’s writing and Wade joined her for the Aesthetic of it all. He absolutely posted a picture of a precariously leaning stack of books on his Instagram, and he was even good enough to clean the books up after they fell. 

 

Kind of.

 

Okay, he bribed Negasonic with a flask of Vodka to do it for him but _still_ , they got put back up and Negasonic is now quietly working on her paper. 

 

_Was_ quietly working on her paper. 

 

Wade’s not very good at this babysitting thing, he thinks as he watches her sip at the flask. He shrugs slightly because oh, right, as long as she’s not _dead_ he’s doing pretty good, really. He’s already doing better than anyone else actually thought he would, take _that_ Colossus. 

 

“It’s not an _angsty romance song_ , it’s just a _romance song_ ,” Wade argues as he checks his phone, frowning at the lack of notifications. 

 

“Jesus, just go find this mysterious boyfriend of yours,” Negasonic says before she shoves the cap of her pen in her mouth, chewing on it, “That I’m pretty sure doesn’t even _exist_.”

 

“Hey!” Wade whisper-yells, “He exists! He’s very real!”

 

“You say that about _unicorns_ ,” Negasonic says, her eyes rolling as Wade catches sight of fluffy brown hair and glasses over her shoulder. He grins and pushes away from the table, leaving her to her paper as he crosses the library on surprisingly light feet. 

 

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say _you_ were stalking _me_ ,” Wade says as he leans against the table the cute guy is sitting at, “ _Peter_.”

 

Peter grins up at him and Wade is pleased to see that his cheeks flush slightly. “Wade,” Peter says in greeting as Wade drops into the chair next to him, “I think maybe _you’re_ the one doing the stalking this time.”

 

“For _shame_ ,” Wade gasps, ignoring the glares that he gets from the tables around them, “‘sonic needed some books to do her research for a paper. I figured it would be good daddy daughter bonding time.”

 

“She’s not your daughter,” Peter laughs, dipping his head when Wade drops a hand to his thigh, tracing the line of his inseam with his middle finger. Wade thinks he’s got the upper hand until Peter look sat him, a smirk at the edges of his lips as he says, “And last I checked you weren’t her _daddy_.” Wade is instantly hard at the way Peter’s voice goes breathy on the word _daddy_. 

 

“You’re _filthy_ ,” Wade is grinning as he tightens his grip on Peter’s thigh, not missing the way his eyelashes flutter.

 

“Mmm,” Peter hums, and Wade watches his fingers tighten on the pen he was using to do his homework. 

 

Wade’s really good at interrupting homework for _everyone_ it seems. 

 

“You gonna come over after your class tonight?” Wade asks as he watches Peter apparently gather himself, blinking slightly as he goes back to looking at his work, his pen picking up speed as Wade’s hand on Peter’s thigh move down, closer to his knee. 

 

“Maybe, if you think you can pull yourself away from Colossus and Negasonic,” Peter teases and Wade is grinning under his mask as he glances over and sees Negasonic looking over at him like he’s grown a second head. It must look odd from the outside, Deadpool and nerdy Peter Parker leaning toward each other and talking, Peter’s cow eyes obvious from _space_. 

 

“For you? Always,” Wade says as he presses his face to the side of Peter’s before he stands up, shooting double finger guns his way as he walks backwards toward Negasonic, “Tonight, baby boy!” 

 

“Wade, chill,” Negasonic hisses as she drags him down into the seat he vacated, “ _This is a library_.” A few moments later she looks up from the book she’s flipping through to add, “I believe that’s your boyfriend for the simple fact that he didn’t run away screaming when you were feeling him up under the table.”

 

“Woah,” Wade says, faking shock as he looks around, “No shit, a gen-you-ine lie-bear-y. And thanks, for at least believing in me enough to not think I’d molest strange men in libraries.”

 

Negasonic groans and Wade looks back at Peter, watching him glance up from his work and Wade’s happy that, for once, not thinking paid off. 

**Author's Note:**

> Songs mentioned in order (all My Chemical Romance songs ofc):
> 
> Welcome to the Black Parade (Black Parade)  
> Kill All Your Friends (Black Parade B-side)  
> Jet-Star And The Kobra Kid/Traffic Report (Danger Days)  
> The Ghost of You (Revenge)  
> Kiss The Ring (Conventional Weapons)  
> The World is Ugly (Conventional Weapons)


End file.
